


Only in My Dreams

by BramSpierfeld



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: (kinda), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 05:08:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14371563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BramSpierfeld/pseuds/BramSpierfeld
Summary: Phantom lips kiss his neck and Simon can't help but wonder who they belong to.Or the one where soulmates can feel each other's fantasies.





	Only in My Dreams

It was after midnight and Simon was halfway through writing an essay on the Cold War for his history class when he felt the brush of lips against his neck. The sensation was so foreign that his first instinct was to swat it away but when he went to do so, there was nothing there. Still, the phantom kiss continued and although he had never been kissed in real life before, this is exactly how he imagined it would feel—wet and hot and distracting as hell. He let out a whine, half convinced that he was finally going crazy, but then, just as quickly as they had come, the lips disappeared. 

It took Simon a second to recover and he was embarrassed to find that even that small touch had him panting for breath as if his soulmate had stolen the air from his lungs just like they had stolen that kiss. 

_His soulmate_. 

Simon stiffened in his desk chair, embarrassed to not have figured it out sooner, and his heart started racing from a combination of nerves and excitement because that really was the only explanation (assuming he wasn’t actually crazy). His _soulmate_ was thinking about him. His soulmate was thinking about _kissing_ him. It took another few seconds for him to realize what else that meant: his soulmate knew him at least well enough to fantasize about him. His soulmate _wanted_ to fantasize about him. 

Simon was still reeling when the lips returned. They were drifting lower this time, leaving flushed skin first on his neck, then his shoulder, then his chest. And still the lips kept moving. It took Simon much too long to realize where they were going. 

“Fuck!” he groaned and then before he had even properly steeled himself, the warm, wet lips that had been leaving imprints all over his body closed around his quickly hardening cock instead. Simon bucked up into his soulmate’s mouth on instinct despite knowing that it wouldn’t get him anything. He was powerless. He had no control over what those lips did to him because Simon didn’t know who they belonged to. If he knew who they were, he could join them in their fantasy, but as it was, he was stuck in this strange limbo between paradise and hell. 

His soulmate swallowed him down deeper, pushing Simon all the way to the back of their throat, and his dick was throbbing almost painfully from feeling everything, but not actually getting any physical stimulation. Simon vaguely wondered if he’d be able to come like this—without ever touching himself at all—but he wasn’t patient enough to find out. Unceremoniously, he pushed his pants down to his ankles and even though he knew it would only end things faster, he took his dick in hand and began stroking himself in time to the rhythm of his soulmate’s lips. 

Simon imagined being able to run his fingers through his soulmate’s hair, to cup his stubbled cheek in his hand. He imagined being able to hear him—the slurps and the whines and the eager hums. Because boy was he eager. Even though the fantasy left no evidence behind, Simon could feel saliva running down his dick, could feel his soulmate’s hand rubbing soothing circles on his thigh. He tried to resist the temptation to finish himself off, he really did, but the fantasy soon drowned him in a sea of pleasure. He threw his head back against his desk chair and came harder than he had ever come in his life, shooting all over himself and the floor. And as if his soulmate _knew_ , he closed his mouth around the tip of Simon’s dick and swallowed it all. Then, without even a farewell, his soulmate was gone. 

Simon half-expected him to return, but when he didn’t, he tried to summon him back instead. He tried to reach out for the phantom feel of the boy’s hands—to pull him closer, to kiss his lips—but he knew it didn’t work like that. He wouldn’t be able to return the favor until he knew who he was returning it to. 

Still high from his recent orgasm but dejected knowing he had no clue who to thank for it, Simon sat in a stupor, trying to gather his wits about him. When he finally caught his breath several minutes later and looked over at the alarm clock, he found that it was almost two in the morning. His essay was going to have to wait. 

__________ 

“Are you seriously trying to finish your essay _now_ , Simon?” Abby asked with disdain, looking over his shoulder at the Google Doc opened on his phone. “We have History _next_ period.” 

“Yeah, well,” Simon muttered as he typed out what was possibly the worst conclusion statement ever written. “I got a bit distracted last night and it was 100% not my fault, so...” He hadn’t meant to put any particular emphasis on the words, but Abby was way too observant for her own good. She immediately perked up. 

“Distracted by what?” 

Simon looked up to find his whole lunch table already staring at him. “Nothing in particular,” he shrugged, trying to brush it off. “My mind was just...somewhere else. Why are you all looking at me like that?” 

Abby narrowed her eyes like she absolutely did not believe him. “And where exactly _was_ your mind, Simon?” 

“Abby,” Simon warned. 

“Simon,” she countered, a roguish grin on her lips. “Did you have a Fantasy?” 

Simon’s blush must have given him away because the whole table immediately broke out into catcalls and giggles—well, all except for Bram who turned into a blushing mess anytime anyone even hinted at something sexual. Simon had never appreciated someone more. 

“We are not talking about this,” he hissed, trying to encourage his friends to keep their voices down. 

“Like hell we are,” Abby said loudly, making the rest of the table laugh. “What are we talking here? Like a kiss or—” Simon’s face once again must have given him away. “Oh, they just went straight for it, huh? We’ve got to find them!” 

Leah immediately began throwing out suggestions for possible suitors, but Simon’s face was burning too hot for him to listen. “What are you going to do?” he snapped. “Ask everyone in school if they were fantasizing about me last night?” His eyes found Bram’s—his lone island in this sea of friends incapable of minding their own business—and the boy was _still_ blushing. God, he was adorable. 

“I might,” Abby shrugged, but Simon had been tormented enough. 

“I have to go print this essay,” he said, shoving his half-eaten tray of fries across the table to Bram since he always ended up finishing them anyway. “See you in History.” Then he left, trying not to think about the ammunition he had just given his friends and how they might choose to use it against him. 

__________ 

The fantasies didn’t happen again after that. At least not to the same extent as they had the first time. There were still flashes of them, but it was almost like they were an afterthought. Simon would feel the soft brush of lips against his cheek as he was getting ready for bed or the gentle touch of fingers carding through his hair as he ate lunch—and it was nice, but it wasn’t enough. The touches were torture, lingering long after their owner disappeared. It was almost like his soulmate had figured out after the first time that Simon was _aware_ of their presence, but that was impossible. Maybe they had just grown tired of the thought of him. There _were_ far more sexually appealing options at Creekwood to fantasize about. He could name at least three at his lunch table alone. 

In a wild bout of desperation, Simon had taken to fantasizing about random guys at school, hoping that maybe he might get some sort of reaction out of one of them, but he never did. And some of those fantasies—like the one he’d forced himself to have about Martin Addison—had likely scarred him for life. He was starting to give up on ever finding his soulmate. He was starting to think that the whole thing had only been a figment of his imagination. 

It was a week later and Simon was sitting in English class completely ignoring Mr. Wise as he tried to figure out what to do next when he found himself distracted by the back of Bram’s neck. It wasn’t the first time it had happened and it wouldn’t be the last. Bram sat a few seats in front of him on the next row over and although Simon hadn’t chosen his seat specifically for the view, it was certainly a nice perk. 

Cute Bram Greenfeld. God, he was adorable. He was so studious—his attention never wavered from Mr. Wise no matter how boring the topic—and that gave Simon ample opportunity to stare without worrying about being caught. By now he had memorized the soft curve of his neck, the broad stretch of his shoulders, the fucking soccer calves that he could literally write poems about. He supposed it was a good thing that while they were _friendly_ , they weren’t exactly friends. Simon was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to fantasize about your friends but as it was, he let himself get lost in a world inside his head. 

He imagined sneaking up on Bram as he sat in his desk and playfully covering his eyes with his hands. He imagined kissing the soft skin behind his ear. He imagined— 

Before Simon could carry the fantasy any further, he froze, because in front of him, Bram had stiffened in his seat. Simon narrowed his eyes, but although the timing was definitely suspect, he was sure it was only a coincidence. Like 98% sure. Still, he couldn’t help but try again. He imagined turning Bram towards him and cupping his face in his hands. He imagined kissing first his forehead and then each of his eyelids, making sure that every touch was soft and tender, infused with just as much devotion as his soulmate had shown him only days before. In return, Bram’s breath quickened audibly as he put his pencil down and sat back in his seat, swallowing hard. For the first time since Simon had known him, Bram had stopped taking notes in class. _Holy fuck_. 

Impatient now, Simon reached for him in his mind, doing everything he possibly could to get his attention without crossing a line he knew he shouldn’t cross while they had an audience. He ran his imaginary fingers through Bram’s hair and watched as the boy actually leaned into the invisible touch. He ran feather-light touches down his bare arms, placed a soft kiss on his jaw and then another behind his ear in the same place he’d imagined kissing him before. Bram shivered at a touch that was not there and it shot a jolt of desire straight down Simon’s spine. It was Bram. His _soulmate_ was Cute Bram Greenfeld. Fucking hell. 

As if Bram knew that he had finally been found out, he turned to face Simon with his bottom lip already tucked sheepishly between his teeth like he expected him to be mad. Simon, however, was not mad. He was happier than he could ever remember being and that happiness bubbled out of him until he was smiling like an idiot right there in the middle of their English classroom. Bram’s gaze softened and then his eyes flickered down from Simon’s eyes to his lips and any chance Simon had of maintaining his cool completely disappeared. 

He wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but as their classmates sat around them oblivious, they came together in their minds, sharing a world that was all their own. Bram’s lips met his in a kiss so fierce it was almost like he thought it might be his only chance. Simon didn’t know how to tell him without words that he wasn’t _stealing_ kisses anymore—that the kisses were already his for the taking—so he kissed him back with just as much passion, tangling his fingers into the soft fabric of Bram’s shirt so that he could pull him closer and feel the pounding of his heart against his chest. 

From the next row over, Simon heard Bram make a soft whining sound and _fuck_ , that was doing things to him. He deepened the kiss and Bram followed his lead, backing him up until Simon felt a wall behind him and now they were closer. Close enough that Simon was starting to realize what a bad idea this was because he was getting hard fast and Bram was blushing so much you could actually see it on his dark skin and— 

Before he could work himself into a panic, the bell rang, startling the two of them out of their fantasy. They just stared at each other unmoving as their classmates started packing their things and by the time Simon found the strength to stand, the room had almost cleared out. Bram stayed seated as Simon approached him, his eyes wide like he still wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t dreaming. 

“Hi,” Simon said, suddenly shy. 

Bram shook his head like he was trying to clear it and then a soft smiled pulled at the corner of his lips. “Hi.” 

“So, um, I don’t know about you, but—” 

Before Simon could finish, Bram was nodding. He stood like he knew exactly what Simon was going to say and then grabbed him by the hand to lead him out of the classroom. “Come with me,” he said and Simon didn’t have to be told twice. 

Bram held his hand as they walked down the crowded hallway, not seeming to care that everyone could see. No one stared, though. Simon wasn’t sure why he thought they would. 

They ended up sitting on the metal bleachers beside the practice soccer field. They weren’t supposed to be out there and Simon had never pegged Bram for much of a rule breaker, but he wasn’t about to argue over the alone time. It was much appreciated. They sat without speaking for almost a minute until finally Simon couldn’t take the silence anymore. 

“I’m going to need you to say something,” he whispered, not wanting to speak too loud in case it broke the fragile bubble they’d created around themselves. Bram huffed out a laugh and looked up at Simon. It was only then that he realized they were still holding hands. 

“So, it looks like you’re stuck with me as a soulmate,” Bram shrugged and although it was clearly meant as a joke, the humor didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“ _Stuck_ with you?” Simon laughed. “If anyone’s stuck here, it’s you. You should be mourning the loss of the underwear model you should be dating because have you looked at yourself in the mirror, Bram Greenfeld? You’re way out of my league. How the hell have I not fantasized about you before?” 

Bram’s smile turned playful. “Yeah, well. About that…” 

“Oh my god,” Simon groaned, finally releasing Bram’s hand so that he could hide his flushed face in his hands. “Have I? Oh, wow. I don’t even want to know—” 

“I didn’t know it was you,” Bram assured him kindly, reaching out and forcing Simon’s hands down so that he had to look at him. Simon was instantly hypnotized by his brown eyes and his embarrassment dissipated somewhat. “It was just flashes, usually. Almost like you would stop yourself as soon as you realized what you were doing. It was a lot of—” He gestured absently at his own neck. “—neck kisses and hand holding. Innocent.” 

Simon sighed. “I really love your neck.” 

“Good to know.” Quiet fell between them once more, but it was more comfortable this time. Simon let the wind cool his flushed skin and couldn’t help but think that it was a beautiful day to fall in love. “I feel like I owe you an apology. For before,” Bram muttered after a second, ducking his head like he was ashamed. Simon, who still could not stop smiling, reached out to force him to look up. 

“In the classroom?” he asked, bewildered. “There is seriously no need to apologize because that was the single best moment of my entire life and it was my fault anyway, so—” 

Bram shook his head and Simon stopped talking, sensing that something was wrong. His smile faded only slightly as he reached out and placed his hand on Bram’s knee, offering him comfort. To Simon’s surprise, Bram took it back into his without hesitation. 

“Not that,” he corrected, his cheeks almost as red as they had been in the classroom. “The first time. I didn’t mean for it to go so far. I just—God, I’ve had such a huge crush on you for so long and it was late and I was horny and never in a million freakin’ years did I _actually_ think you were my soulmate. So I just—” 

“Went for it?” Simon smirked, thinking back to Abby’s words on the day she’d found out about it. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bram groaned. 

Simon couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Stop apologizing. You have no idea how fucking good that felt.” His cheeks were heating under the attention, but he powered through the embarrassment since Bram had done the same for him. “I could show you later. If you want.” 

A smile finally found its way back to Bram’s lips. “Just, um,” he said, huffing out a laugh at whatever he was about to say next. “Not during soccer practice, okay? I can’t run with a boner.” 

Simon’s own laugh was startled out of him. He always knew Bram could be funny. “Deal.” 

They were both smiling so brightly that Simon didn’t think their happiness would ever fade. He wanted to live in this moment forever. “I’m glad it’s you,” he whispered and he had never meant anything more. 

Bram blushed, but his smile gave away just how pleased he was to hear it. “I’m glad it’s you too.” 

Unable to resist the pull Bram had on him any longer, Simon lunged forward and captured his lips in their first real kiss. It was tamer than the one they’d shared in their minds, but no less passionate because now Simon could do more than just touch. He could taste and smell and hear all of the secret parts of Bram that he hadn’t been allowed before. 

They sat tangled together on the bleachers and kissed until they were interrupted by the bell. And although their next classes were on different sides of campus, the distance could no longer keep them apart. They spent the rest of the day locked in each other’s minds, reliving that kiss over and over until they were finally able to do it again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated ❤️


End file.
